“I Was Never Meant to Stay Small”

There was a time in my life when I was with someone who — somehow — made me feel like I had to shrink myself. I held back my potential, dimmed my own light so I wouldn’t “outshine” him. I suppressed parts of myself just to stay aligned, lowering my standards so he wouldn’t feel left behind. I told myself: it’s fine, I don’t want a loud or complicated life anyway. I stayed in that false comfort zone, pretending it was enough. Deep down, I knew he couldn’t give me more than that. But then the question hit me: What kind of life do I really deserve?

I looked at my parents. They gave me only the best, raising me into who I am today — independent, adventurous, brave, intelligent, critical, a problem solver. They built the foundation that allowed me to become the best version of myself. They built the foundation that allowed others also to receive the only best version of myself.

I looked at my friends. They never treated me unfairly. They were romantic, gentle, thoughtful. They never left me to plan everything on my own. They didn’t let me walk through pain alone, didn’t let me stand in the rain or under the scorching sun by myself. They were there at my lowest points, embracing me without being asked. And in those moments, I discovered the most empathetic parts of myself — because I wanted to return the same kindness when they were the ones at their lowest. With them, the best version of me came out naturally, nurtured by the way they cared for me.

And then, one Saturday night, I met someone — a man. He didn’t try to appear extraordinary. He was calm, steady, solid. Without explicitly saying a word, through every conversation he led, I felt reminded: you were born for greater things, don’t just stay where you are.

There was something effortless about him — but not the kind that made me suppress myself again. Instead, he opened a new space in my mind: this potential I’ve kept locked up can’t stay imprisoned forever. I can’t keep being “just ordinary.” I deserve a life that’s full, one that allows me to show up as my truest, brightest self — just as my parents and friends have always drawn out of me.

With him, I felt free to think and speak without limits. As if he was telling me: you can be more critical than this, you can talk about so many things without fearing that your intelligence will intimidate others. You are smart — and you should never hide that. Let others rise to meet you. If someone truly wants to stand beside you, they’ll make their own effort to match your energy.

Sometimes, it only takes one conversation, one encounter, to remind us of who we really are. And I sincerely hope that man was not just a fleeting meeting on that Saturday night because I know I truly need someone like that in my life.